How to Enhance Intimacy in a Christian Marriage?

Sexual intimacy is a beautiful and sacred gift from God, designed to express love, joy, and oneness between a husband and a wife. However, many Christian couples struggle with intimacy issues, such as low desire, mismatched libido, lack of satisfaction, or past trauma.

These issues can cause frustration, resentment, and distance in the marriage, affecting not only the couple’s physical relationship, but also their emotional and spiritual connection.

If you are one of those couples who want to enhance intimacy in your Christian marriage, this blog is for you.

In this blog, I will share with you some practical and biblical tips on how to improve your sexual relationship with your spouse, and how to overcome some of the common challenges and misconceptions that you may face.

By applying these tips, you will be able to experience more intimacy, pleasure, and fulfillment in your marriage, and glorify God with your bodies.

Does Christian marriage intimacy matter?

The Bible teaches that God created marriage as a sacred covenant between one man and one woman and that He designed sex as a gift to be enjoyed within this union. Sex is not only a physical act, but also a spiritual and emotional one, that reflects the intimacy and love that God has for His people.

Therefore, Christian marriage intimacy matters because it honors God, strengthens the bond between spouses, and enriches their lives. It also helps them to overcome temptations, to communicate better, and to grow in holiness.

However, Christian marriage intimacy is not always easy or natural. It requires commitment, communication, and creativity. It also faces many challenges, such as stress, busyness, health issues, conflicts, and sin. Now let's learn the top 5 ways that you can enhance Christian marriage intimacy.

1. Communicate your desire for intimacy

One of the most important factors for enhancing intimacy in a Christian marriage is communication. Communication is the key to understanding each other’s needs, preferences, and boundaries, and to avoiding unmet expectations, frustration, and conflict.

Without communication, you may end up guessing what your spouse wants, or assuming that they know what you want, which can lead to disappointment, misunderstanding, and dissatisfaction.

Therefore, it is vital that you communicate your desire for intimacy with your spouse, in a loving and respectful way. You can do this by:

• Expressing your appreciation and admiration for your spouse, and telling them what you love about them
• Sharing your feelings and thoughts about intimacy, and listening to your spouse’s feelings and thoughts
• Asking your spouse what they like and dislike, and telling them what you like and dislike
• Giving your spouse positive feedback and encouragement when they please you, and gently suggesting ways to improve when they don’t
• Being honest and respectful about your needs, and being willing to compromise and accommodate your spouse’s needs
• Resolving any conflicts or issues that may affect your intimacy, and forgiving each other
• Initiating intimacy when you feel like it, and responding positively when your spouse initiates it

By communicating your desire for intimacy, you will be able to enhance your intimacy and connection with your spouse, and make your sexual relationship more enjoyable and satisfying.

2. Agree as “one flesh”

Another factor for enhancing intimacy in a Christian marriage is agreement. Agreement is the result of honoring and celebrating your differences and similarities as a couple, and of cultivating unity and harmony in your sexual relationship.

The Bible says that when a man and a woman get married, they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This means that they are no longer two separate individuals, but one entity, joined together by God.

Therefore, it is essential that you agree as one flesh with your spouse, in accordance with God’s will and design. You can do this by:

• Recognizing and respecting your spouse’s uniqueness, personality, and perspective, and appreciating how they complement yours
• Acknowledging and accepting your spouse’s strengths and weaknesses, and supporting them in their growth and development
• Celebrating and enjoying your spouse’s body, and taking care of your own body
• Praying and seeking God’s guidance and wisdom for your sexual relationship, and following His principles and commands
• Respecting and honoring your spouse’s authority and role in the marriage, and submitting to each other out of reverence for Christ
• Being faithful and loyal to your spouse, and avoiding any temptation or sin that may harm your intimacy
• Having fun and being creative with your spouse, and exploring new ways to please each other

By agreeing as one flesh with your spouse, you will be able to enhance your intimacy and oneness with your spouse, and make your sexual relationship more meaningful and fulfilling.

3. Seek Christian counsel

A third factor for enhancing intimacy in a Christian marriage is counsel. Counsel is the guidance and support that you seek from godly sources when you face intimacy issues that you cannot resolve on your own.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you may encounter problems or challenges that affect your intimacy, such as medical conditions, emotional wounds, sexual dysfunctions, or spiritual attacks. These issues can be very difficult and painful to deal with, and may require professional help or intervention.

Therefore, it is beneficial that you seek Christian counsel for your intimacy issues, from people who can help you grow in your understanding and practice of intimacy. You can do this by:

• Consulting your doctor or a certified sex therapist, if you have any physical or psychological issues that impair your sexual function or performance
• Seeking therapy or counseling from a licensed Christian counselor or therapist, if you have any emotional or relational issues that hinder your sexual satisfaction or connection
• Joining a support group or a ministry that deals with sexual issues, such as pornography addiction, sexual abuse, or infidelity, if you have any personal or marital struggles that damage your sexual integrity or trust
• Reading books or articles, listening to podcasts or videos, or attending seminars or workshops that teach biblical and practical principles on intimacy, if you want to learn more about how to improve your sexual relationship
• Asking for advice or mentorship from a trusted Christian friend, leader, or couple, who have a healthy and godly sexual relationship, if you need some guidance or encouragement

However, while seeking Christian counsel, you should also be careful to avoid any worldly or sinful influences that can harm your intimacy, such as:

• Following the trends or standards of the secular culture, media, or society, that promote sexual immorality, perversion, or idolatry
• Comparing your sexual relationship with others, or envying or coveting what they have
• Exposing yourself or your spouse to any pornography, erotica, or other sexually explicit or suggestive material, that can corrupt your mind, heart, or body
• Sharing or disclosing any intimate or personal details about your sexual relationship with anyone, without your spouse’s consent or knowledge

By seeking Christian counsel for your intimacy issues, you will be able to enhance your intimacy and healing with your spouse, and make your sexual relationship more healthy and godly.

4. Make time for intimacy

A fourth factor for enhancing intimacy in a Christian marriage is time. Time is the resource that you allocate and protect for your sexual relationship, amidst your busy schedules, distractions, and stress. Many Christian couples neglect or postpone intimacy, because they are too busy with work, family, ministry, or other obligations.

They may also lose interest or passion for intimacy, because they are too distracted by their phones, social media, hobbies, or entertainment. They may also experience difficulty or discomfort in intimacy, because they are too stressed by their problems, worries, or fears.

Therefore, it is necessary that you make time for intimacy with your spouse, as a priority and a privilege. You can do this by:

• Scheduling regular and frequent times for intimacy, and sticking to them
• Planning ahead and preparing for intimacy, and making sure that you have everything you need
• Eliminating or minimizing any distractions or interruptions, and focusing on your spouse
• Creating a romantic and relaxing atmosphere for intimacy, and setting the mood
• Being flexible and spontaneous with your spouse, and seizing any opportunity for intimacy
• Being attentive and responsive to your spouse, and meeting their needs
• Being patient and gentle with your spouse, and easing their stress

By making time for intimacy with your spouse, you will be able to enhance your intimacy and passion with your spouse, and make your sexual relationship more enjoyable and satisfying.

5. Pursue spiritual intimacy

A fifth and final factor for enhancing intimacy in a Christian marriage is spirituality. Spirituality is the aspect of intimacy that involves your relationship with God and each other, through prayer, worship, and service. Intimacy is not only physical and emotional, but also spiritual.

Your sexual relationship is a reflection and expression of your spiritual relationship, and vice versa. The more you grow closer to God and each other, the more you will experience intimacy, pleasure, and fulfillment in your marriage.

Therefore, it is essential that you pursue spiritual intimacy with your spouse, as a way of honoring and glorifying God with your sexual relationship. You can do this by:

• Praying together and for each other, and inviting God into your sexual relationship
• Worshiping together and expressing your gratitude and praise to God for your sexual relationship
• Serving together and using your sexual relationship as a ministry and a testimony to others
• Studying the Word of God together and applying it to your sexual relationship
• Seeking the guidance and empowerment of the Holy Spirit for your sexual relationship
• Obeying the commands and principles of God for your sexual relationship
• Repenting and confessing any sin or error in your sexual relationship, and receiving God’s forgiveness and grace

By pursuing spiritual intimacy with your spouse, you will be able to enhance your intimacy and fulfillment with your spouse, and make your sexual relationship more meaningful and godly.

In a Nutshell

Intimacy is a gift from God for your marriage. You can make it better by talking to your spouse about intimacy, respecting and celebrating your differences and similarities, getting help from Christian sources if you have problems, making time and space for intimacy, and growing closer to God and each other. This will make you and your spouse happier and healthier in your sexual relationship. It will also please God and show His love to others.